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An Ode to My 30s

Dear 30s (April 24, 2009-April 23, 2019),

You were the best of times and worst of times (and maybe that’s true of all times). You were more about taking things – life – more seriously. I dedicated my life to peace. I studied it deeply and taught it. I loved. I lost. I loved more. You were amber glitter balm and butterfly wings.

Taking stock: Peace, Rocky, Sangha

In my 30s, in no particular order, I:

  • Got married (twice)
  • Got divorced (once)
  • Earned a masters in Peace Education
  • Started a PhD (which I will finish in 2021) in Community, Liberation, Indigenous and Eco-psychologies
  • Had the most amazing, magical baby (Daphne)/became a mom
  • Met my dog soulmate (Rocky), who is really the most stable part of this decade, the one (besides my immediate family, who are really awesome) who has seen me through all of it
  • Donated 40+ inches of hair to cancer charities
  • Became an ordained member of the Order of Interbeing (dharma name True Earth Dwelling)
  • Moved: from Japan (at 29) to Costa Rica to San Diego to North Carolina to Colorado
  • Did good work in peace and nonviolence education (for Teachers Without Borders, Metta Center for Nonviolence, as a professor at San Diego City College and Chapman University, and others)
  • Traveled (mostly for conferences): Costa Rica, Nicaragua, Mexico, Canada, France, Germany, Austria, Cyprus
  • Studied/sat with elders whose work has deeply impacted me and inspired me: Thich Nhat Hanh, Joanna Macy, Meg Wheatley, Stephen Cope; and in the process, met new people whose work continues to inspire me
  • Fell in love with Nahko and Medicine for the People, Rising Appalachia, Trevor Hall
  • Met dozens of amazing people who are soul friends, who I cannot imagine not knowing and loving in this lifetime
  • Continued to write letters to my Aunt Ginny – we have now been pen pals for nearly 20 years
  • Did yoga, reiki and restorative justice training
  • Meditated a lot, retreated a lot, spent a lot of time at Deer Park Monastery
  • Found sangha (+Joined the Earth Holder Care taking Council). Sangha (in the Plum Village tradition) is definitely a hallmark of life in my 30s.
  • Fed my body with plant-based food, bike rides, yoga, massage, acupuncture, reiki, hiking and MommaStrong
  • Got two tattoos (“this is it” calligraphy on my inner wrist; a flock of birds on my right shoulder)

You have been challenging and amazing. You have been the hardest time and best time of my life.

When I think about the last day of my 30s, I cannot think of a better way to spend it than how I might spend any other Tuesday: getting coffee with my baby. Working on writing and school work while she naps. Getting Reiki with Parminder. Taking a walk or hike as a family when dad gets home from work. Eating some yummy food. Going to bed by 10 (9 if the baby lets us 😉

And finding the perfect tiara or crown to wear for my 40th birthday tomorrow 🙂


Thank you, 30s. You were good to me. You stretched me, quite literally, in every way.

40s, I’m ready for you!

Love, love, love <3